As I said yesterday, my boyfriend’s dog died. He is having a pretty tough time due to the fact he grew up with Mocha and he got hit by a car. I’m not the best in these type of situations, and I was told to keep quiet until he go out of work. But, I bent over backwards to go buy him a cupcake and a gift to cheer him up as I waited all night expecting to comfort him.
You know what hurts? what makes you feel useless? When you try so hard to be there for someone, and they take their anger off of you. I understand he is going through a tough time, but do I really deserve being ignored the whole night? He never even told me his dog died himself and played a video game with our friend and talked to him all last night.
I know he may be better for this, but god I feel so shitty now….I’m having bad anxiety.
I have to work tonight from 5-8:30 pm and I’m NOT excited what-so-ever. I usually work the mornings at a “hybrid bed and breakfast hotel” as a hostess. I already have to deal with rude and high class crazy tourists, but the ones at night are WAY worse and the servers get more stressed. I can’t seat people as quickly and overall I just feel really uncomfortable (this is only my second time working the nights). I’m just hoping it wont get too busy or hectic and I can leave as soon as 8:30 hits.
Let alone, I’m not feeling too great all of a sudden and I don’t know why, just feeling really “blah”
It’s really hard to think that my time with my boyfriend is getting shorter by the day. Soon, he will be gone in France for 6 months and our only communication will be the meek Facebook messages. Im happy he is going to have this adventure, but it makes me a tad jealous that I won’t get this opportunity, let alone, I don’t want him to “forget” about me. I have so many fears and what ifs right now and I hate it. I love him with all my heart and we’ve already have huge drifts of almost ending it….what if this happens again?
It’s already tough dealing with long distance most of the year, being 9 hours away in the school year, this will not make it easier. I’m just ready to make sacrifices to be closer to him.